Wooden you know it!
I awoke knowing something was wrong. The room was spinning, I felt sick - and hadn't been drinking the previous evening - something was obviously adrift.
I sat up and it got worse. I flopped back onto the pillow trying to stop the spin, even though it reminded me to do the washing once I came back to life as I was running out of shirts.
I tried again ...the dog looked at me as if I was mad, so I was sick all over him. Sorry Rover. Finally, things slowed and I crawled out of bed, the pongy dog followed.
I took a shower lying down, don't try this if you have a clogged drain as you can easily drown. I managed to avoid this fate by wearing a snorkel. My now-smelling-better dog survived by doing the doggy-paddle. Innovation...where would we be without it?
I staggered to a taxi and headed for my far-away-but-usually-worth-the-journey doctor. In response to the receptionist asking what was ailing me I was sick over her waiting room: minus five points.
The doctor couldn't hit the spot as to what was wrong - migraine, travel sickness, inner-ear infection: none of the above. Go home and lie down then.
Two days later I went to see a Traditional Chinese Medicine fellow who sat me down, picked up a piece of firewood and started massaging my neck and shoulders with it.
‘Blocked Chi' he declared, having decided my meridians were jammed...as can happen as a result of stress, worry, lack of shirts and having a dog who wants to lie in bed all day.
It worked, I bounced out like a member of the Cirque du Soleil ... a handstand here, a cartwheel there and I was right as rain again.
Wood you believe it!